Laura Collins
Published April 11, 2026 6:00pm
Share this article via whatsappShare this article via xCopy the link to this article.Link is copiedShare this article via facebook
Comment now
Comments
Your partner should never make you feel insecure about your looks (Picture: Getty/ Metro)
Deciding to have cosmetic surgery is a big decision, and one that takes careful consideration.
While going under the knife can boost self-esteem, it’s important to remember that changing your appearance should be a choice you’ve made for yourself — and no one else.
But this week’s reader is considering making some dramatic changes, in a desperate attempt to fix her marriage.
Her husband of 30 years is cheating on her, and she’s convinced that getting a boob job and a facelift could convince him to be faithful.
Check out our expert’s advice below, but before you do, take a look at last week’s dilemma, from a woman whose boyfriend is perfect in every way — apart from one.
The problem…
I’ve noticed that most of the letters you publish seem to come from young people, so I hope you won’t mind a problem from an old lady in her 50s whose head is all over the place.
Basically, my husband of more than 30 years is having an affair and I feel like I’m having a breakdown,
New here? Sign up for The Hook Up newsletter
Hi, my name is Laura Collins, and every week I write Metro’s Sex Column.
I’ve been working in newspapers since completing my counselling training 30 years ago, and it’s always a privilege to help readers.
Read my column in The Hook Up newsletter every week (Picture: Laura Collins)
If you enjoy my column, you should sign up for our weekly newsletter. It has it all – expert tips, steamy stories, and everything in between.
Sign up now. And if you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma, get in touch!
He’s been behaving strangely for the last six months – working late, going to the gym and suddenly taking great care of his appearance.
I’ve always nagged him to buy some new clothes, and now he’s doing just that. Not from cheap shops, or the sale rail, but high end fashion items that he would never normally wear.
He recently grew a short beard too (I must admit it looks quite nice) and I jokingly asked him who he was hiding his double chin for.
To my astonishment, he just shot me a strange look and said limply: ‘I’ve met someone else’. I was so shocked, my knees buckled beneath me and I had to sit down. I asked him if he loved this other person and he just said: ‘I think so’.
He has moved into the spare bedroom, and now we barely speak. I still cook his meals and do all his washing, mechanically doing the things I’ve always done. The situation is unbearable but I can’t bring myself to kick him out, because then our marriage really would be over. I keep thinking that if I can just put up with it for a while, he’ll come to his senses and end the affair.
A friend confessed she’d seen him with another woman and said she looks just like a younger version of me. Now I hate the way I look and want to have breast augmentation and a face lift, and do things that will make me attractive to him again.
We have two grown up children who are married and live away, and they are both appalled by their father’s behaviour. I always thought we’d grow old together and I’m absolutely petrified of a life without him.
POLL PollShould this woman try to save her marriage?
- No way. She can live a flourshing life without him.Check
- Yes, he might change his ways.Check
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Your information will be used in line with our Privacy Policy
The advice…
I’m not surprised your head is all over the place. But please don’t let your husband’s behaviour make you feel like you have to reinvent yourself with plastic surgery, or that you’re suddenly ‘an old lady’ (you’re not).
Your close friends and family love you just as you are, so be honest about your situation and reach out for their support.
Your children are adults, so it’s time to think about yourself and your future. You still have many years ahead of you, so don’t cling to the wreckage of a marriage that is causing you so much unhappiness.
I know it does’t seem like it now, but your life might be better without this man. Stop doing his washing and cooking, and let him do his own chores. Since he’s chosen to live a separate life, you need to be really brave and ask him to move out.
Trending Now
-
The three-word phrase women use during sex that men say makes them ‘feel like a failure’
Channel: Sex Sex 1 day ago By Alice Giddings - I had four inches of my penis amputated after a 'death smell' from my privates
- Huge new £50,000,000 Manchester resort set to be UK's biggest paid-for attraction
- I went to London’s last remaining Tube station pub — it was almost perfect
Splitting up after so long together will be painful, but many people go through it and come out the other side feeling stronger. I think you’ll look back and wonder why you allowed him to make you unhappy for so long.
It’s vital that you look after your mental health, so please see your GP about taking therapy while you go through this difficult time. As a last resort you could try couples counselling to see if there’s anything left to be saved, but personally – I think you just need a good divorce lawyer.
Laura is a counsellor and columnist.
Deals of the Day
From Superdry to Primark – here's 22 items a shopping expert is buying
Struggling with skincare? This AI tool analyses your skin and tells you what to use
The best Easter gift ideas that go beyond chocolate for every budget
The k‑beauty product from haruharu Wonder that’s going viral for glowing skin
Kate Middleton just backed this Spring shoe trend with her £119 Boden loafers
Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to [email protected].
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Arrow MORE: 70 sex questions to ask your partner, from the naughty to seriously spicy
Arrow MORE: Penis Kegels can help men achieve ‘more intense and pleasurable’ orgasms
Arrow MORE: A child called me a terrorist – the silence was deafening
Comment now Comments Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google Add as preferred source The Hook UpMetro's hottest newsletter, with juicy stories and tips for spicing things up in the bedroom. 18+
DOB ? Email I agree to receive newsletters from Metro I agree to receive newsletters from Metro Sign UpSign UpThis site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Your information will be used in line with our Privacy Policy